تبیان، دستیار زندگی

سلام...
با اجازه دوستان این تاپیک رو زدم که هر کس هر متن با مزه ای داره به زبان انگلیسی رو برامون بذاره که شامل جوک و لطیفه و یا هر چیز دیگه ای میتونه باشه...
منتظر مطالب زیبای دوستان هستم...
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دل خوش عشق شما نیستم ای اهل زمین به خدا معشوقه من بالایی است

hi
thank you Yalda. it was really funny
Do you know what does the following means?
It’s none of your business

به نام خدا

سلام

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من موقع ترجمه یه متن انگلیسی حدس زیاد میزنم

با توجه به جملات قبل و بعد جمله مورد نظر

با توجه به جمله آخر که گفته این یک مکالمه خصوصیه و با توجه به جمله قبل جمله مورد نظر که اون اقا گفتن من حتی یک کلمه نمیتونم بشنوم حدس زدم که باید این جمله یه چیزی تو مایه های به شما ربطی نداره

و این موضوع مربوط به شما نمیشه

یا یه همچین چیزی باشه

درسته؟؟؟

**یا علی از تو مدد**

سلام
بله دقیقا به معنی "به تو چه!" و "به تو ربطی نداره!" هست. یعنی چندان محترمانه هم نیست.
من یه دوستی رو دیدم میخواست به کسی به انگلیسی بگه "این به تو مربوط نیست"، میگفت:
it is not related to you!
در حالیکه غلط ه.
بنابراین از اون اصطلاح وقتی استفاده میکنیم که بخوایم به کسی بگیم: " به تو چه!"

هوالمعشوق

دلخوش عشق شما نیستم ای اهل زمین به خدا معشوقه من بالایی است.

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سلام

Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect؟

A: B. (bee)

Q: What letter is a part of the head?

A: I. (eye)

Q: What letter is a drink?

A: T. (tea)

Q: What letter is a body of water?

A: C. (sea)

Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"?

A: The letter " I "

Q: What letter is a vegetable?

A: P. (pea)

Q: What letter is an exclamation?

A: O. (oh!)

Q: What letter is a European bird?

A: J. (Jay)

Q: What letter is looking for causes ?

A: Y. (why)

Q: What four letters frighten a thief?

A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)

Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in athousand years?

A: The letter "m"

Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?

A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.

Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?

A: It can make "her" "hear.

Q: Which is the loudest vowel?

A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise

Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike?

A: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".

Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter?

A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".

Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?

A: Alphabet = (26 letters)

Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"?

A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".

Q: What is the end of everything?

A: The letter "g".

سوال و جواب های جالبی بود...من تا به حال نشنیده بودم...

موفق باشید.

**یا علی از تو مدد**

thank you dear Yalda they sound interesting and it was my first time to see those like you
it would be better to ask the questions and let user to come up with their own answers and correct them afterwards.
maybe next time

Whacked

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter. 'Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther I'm 85 years old. if I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.' The pilot over heard the couple and said, 'folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride; if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's 50 dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his dare devil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'by golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'

• Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines!

And this is sent to you by a Canadian, using Bill Gates' technology and you are probably reading this on one of the IBM clones that use Taiwanese-made chips, and Korean-made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi
workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries driven by Indians,
hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, trucked by
Mexican illegal aliens, and finally sold to you.

That, my friend, is Globalization !

I hope you don't find the text below, offensive. It aims to teach the differences between "surprised" and "astonished"

A certain professor of English, who chose his words with great care, was a little in love with the housemaid in his home.

One day his wife returned unusually early from shopping and found him sitting in the drawing room with housemaid on his knee.

"Oh George!" She cried," I am surprised."

Even in the terrible moment the professor's love of syntax didn't desert him.

"No my dear," he countered "You are astonished: it's I who am surprised!"

Things people actually said in court, word for word:

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
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Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "where am I Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
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Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
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Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played horn for ten years. I even went to school for it.
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Q: Now doctor, isn"t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn"t know about it until the next morning?
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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

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Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
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Q: Did he kill you?
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Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

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Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

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Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, do they go up also?

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Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn"t you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?

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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

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