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انجمن ها > انجمن انگليسي > صفحه اول بحث
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انگليسي (بازدید: 868)
پنج شنبه 17/2/1388 - 13:50 -0 تشکر 111069
JOKE: The senator, heaven, and hell

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we"re not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I"d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we"ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I"ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I"m sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse. Standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf; and then dine on lobster, caviar, and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it"s time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time.

Before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you"ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, and then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he"s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don"t understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse. We ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time. Now there"s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning…Today you voted."


پنج شنبه 17/2/1388 - 19:35 - 0 تشکر 111145

researcher  عزیز داستان قشنگی بود.

DECISIVENESS

Semyon Perkins had just about stepped into the lift he suddenly recalled that he had resolved that from this day on he would walk up the stairs to his floor flat in order to lose weight. He removed his foot from the lift and faced the stairs. The steepy ascending steps disappeared upwards.

"But why.actually,does it have to be today?" he asked himself.He was tired as it was.He would start tomorrow.

he turned once more to the lift. Then he remembered that he had promised to help out his wife the next day and vacuum the flat. He would be fatigued by physical labour anyway. If he was to start,it should be today .And again he faced the staircase.

"But why actually is it essential for me to walk? I"m not as fat,after all,as my colleague Ivano."He turned to the lift.

"on the other hand,I"m by no means in as good shape at Sidorov,of course."

He faced the stairs.

"But really,is that important? In a man, other qualities are valued. For instance,decisiveness.

And he decisively turned to the lift.

It was out of order.

just=exactly,upright

step=move & set down foot

lift=elevator

suddenly=unexpectedly

recall=remember

resolve=decide

stairs=set of steps

flat=storey,suite of rooms on one floor

weight=gravity as property of bodies

remove=take away or off,transfer

face=turn

شیب دار=steepy

ascend=climb,walk up

disappear=be lost,vanish

upward=moving or directed up

actually=really,indeed

turn=change of direction

vacuum=clean

fatigue=tired

physical=of body

labour=work

colleague=fellow-worker

quality=high degree of goodness or worth

value=worth,estimate value of

for instance=for example

decisiveness=determination

decisively=certainly

خراب=out of order

Life is a chain of moment of enjoyment ,not only about survival

پنج شنبه 17/2/1388 - 23:28 - 0 تشکر 111197

Salaam

Thank you dear researcher

Interesting story... And very informative indeed!

 

خدايا در برابر هر آنچه انسان ماندن را به تباهي مي کشاند مرا با نداشتن و نخواستن رويين تن کن. (علي شريعتي)

.

.

"مدير انجمن زن ريحانه ي آفرينش"

"جانشين انجمن زبان انگليسي"

پنج شنبه 17/2/1388 - 23:46 - 0 تشکر 111199

for a quick translation, have a look HERE


يکشنبه 20/2/1388 - 22:30 - 0 تشکر 111790

salam

thanks mr.researcher

what a nice story!
but it seems to be politic abit

thanks anyway

اگر به آن چیزی که می خواستی نرسیدی از آن چیزی که هستی نگران مباش!

 

 

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